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Alarms and Furry Friends- Part 2 of my metal series

"WHEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!"

            Joachim screamed at me from my friend's buzzing phone. It was early morning, too early for me to understand what was being sung in my left ear. Honestly, you'd think I'd know what was startling me from sleep considering this was the second time it had happened after staying the night at my friend's apartment. All I knew it was his alarm, it was music, it was loud, and I fucking loved it. For the second time, I asked him over breakfast; him coffee, bacon, spinach soaked in bacon grease, and a nauseating dollop of peanut butter. Fucking keto diets. Me, tea, and literally anything else but that nasty keto "meal" I was watching him scarf.

                        "What's that song you've got your alarm set to?"

                        "Winged mumble mumble by Sabaton. I told you last time."

                        "Sorry, what?"

                        "Winged Hussars by Sabaton."

                And that was it. The conversation that got me into metal.

                Sure, I'd heard metal before. Hell, the next artist I got really into after Sabaton, or really at around the same time, was The Hu, and that had been introduced to me by my ex a couple years before. Awfully proud of his Mongolian heritage. Can't blame him when they're the face of Mongolian pop culture exports, having won the UNESCO Artist for Peace back in 2022. I started with Sabaton, then remembered the Hu, then added artists like Beast in BlackWind Rose, and Gloryhammer to the mix. I'm not as much into Gloryhammer anymore, but still want them to have their moment here as they were a vital part of my power metal education. I quickly got obsessed with power metal, and stayed hooked on Sabaton. God bless Napalm Records for providing the majority of my bands a record that lets them balls to the walls with their gimmicks. Napalm Records, if someone from your HQ ever reads this, I love you guys and would love to write for you if you ever wanted an article. Speaking of gimmicks, how could I have forgotten the legendary Nanowar of Steel?! I promise, I'll do a better breakdown of artists I love and why I love them as a future post. Until then, know that I fell down the Youtube rabbit hole... until that wasn't enough.

                My first metal concert took planning. Originally, I wanted to go to Sabaton's show in downtown Vancouver along with all my friends, including the guy who got me into them. However, remember how I mentioned the Hu? They were also playing that very same night, October 16th, 2019... In Seattle. How to reconcile the two? Well, I could have chosen between the concerts, but instead I planned my first solo international trip and went to Seattle, saw Sabaton one night, then saw The Hu and Babymetal the night my friends saw Sabaton.

                So, planning. Practical things first. What the fuck do you wear to a metal concert as a tiny woman? It needs to fit the vibe, not get shredded in the pit, and not cook me as I’m going to be in a mass of sweating people for a while. Naturally, the internet gave me these requirements and the possible solutions. Outfit I chose not pictured, but a much more appealing one below. Then, ticket pricing, estimating how much it would cost to travel there, stay there, eat, etc. What were my options?

  • Flying-too expensive

  • Train-didn’t really know about

  • Driving-no licence

  • Bus-it’ll take a while, but I’ll get there.

                Now that actually getting to Seattle was sorted, what about staying there? I didn’t know anyone in Seattle, I couldn’t afford a terribly expensive hotel, so a hostel it was.

                

                The trip down to Seattle started with a trip to Main Street’s combination train and bus station. I headed down after work, having my mother meet me at the train station to bring me my purple rolling case. I rushed in, glad my mom had taught me a lot about planning a trip and having paper copies of everything you needed, including your itinerary. I checked in at the station and had completely forgotten I’d need to fill out a customs form as, well duh, I was crossing the Canadian/American land border. Luckily for me, I had printed my confirmations so I wasn’t scrambling with my phone to look up addresses and zip codes when presented with the question “Where are you staying during your trip?” God, I have to say, they need to make those customs forms bigger. My handwriting was so crammed in those little boxes.

                The ride down had me plugged in, and tuned out of my mind. I was on my way to see SABATON! ON MY OWN! AAAAH! I was reading everything I could about them to refresh my memory. I found fanfiction. I reread lyrics, hoping to memorize them in time. What songs were they going to play?! I won’t lie, the rush made me impulsive. The rumble of the bus trip, my crazy fangirling for hours, listening to them over and over, and the fact there was wifi on this bus, all combined to have me write a horrifically regrettable horny email to them that I hope has been forgotten and discarded long ago. I mean HORNY. Capital fucking H. If any representatives of Sabaton or band members ever read this, my sincerest and most humble apologies, I was caught up in the excitement and was embarrassingly sober during this event. Please send me a copy so I can laugh at it and cringe in equally raucous proportions.

                No, dear reader, I no longer have a copy. The sole copy was sent off to the contact form of Sabaton’s official website, and disappeared with me hitting submit. The rest of the ride down to Seattle was uneventful, after that.

                The concert was incredible. It was so loud, Hammerfall, the openers were wonderful, and I had a fucking blast. Then Sabaton came on. I ended up in the pit and didn’t die! I pushed on. Song after song, I wove my way forward through the crowd. Remember, I’m at perfect elbow-to-face height. I managed to get myself to the front of the barricade. After pushing my way through, I must’ve looked crazy. Without a word, security lifted me up and over the barrier. I was crushed. All I had wanted to do was get to the front and watch the band from up close, but as soon as I got there, a big security guard misinterpreted me getting to the barrier in a rush, thinking I was in trouble. I took my well-warranted break from the sound and the crowd in the bathroom, splashing myself with water in the sink. I left there determined to try to get to the front again, this time staying there, damnit! My eye glinted with conviction as I entered the throng again. This time, someone recognized the shine, and he noticed where I was headed. He gestured to the pit, and screamed above the noise “On three, run! One, two, THREEEEEEEEEEE!” and he rushed into the pit, arms stretched out wide, slamming everyone he could aside for me. I bolted through, feet pounding the concrete ground of the venue. He had parted the crowd for me, then just as quickly, the crowd swallowed him and I back up, reabsorbing us into the mass of metalhead bodies. I don’t remember what that man looked like. I wish I did. The concert finally ended, with me not quite at the front, but damn I tried. I waited outside and met Hannes, who thought I was someone else he’d previously seen. I lingered for hours in the cold, my sweat chilling me. The staff at the Showbox Sodo felt bad for me, and grabbed me a setlist. I watched the band settle into their tour bus, then left. It was late as hell when I got back to my hostel. I snuck in quietly, trying not to wake my bunk mates, but one of them had noticed enough to bug me about it the next morning. Watching the Hu was less eventful, but no less enjoyable for it. I split a beer with some people waiting for the band, and whooped and hollered as loudly as possible, just about certain I was the only Canadian to turn up that night to see the Hu, not the headliners, Babymetal.

                I left Seattle happy, tired, sore, and wanting more. Tune in next time for my adventure in Sweden in 2022, where I volunteered at the Sabaton Open Air Festival.


Thank you for making it this far! Enjoy your prize.

A black and white photo of Ayla in just her battlejacket and booty shorts, looking out a large window. The jacket is open to reveal her breasts.


Bonus content: You'll find a youtube playlist of the songs I was listening to while writing this and reminiscing if you click here. Most every song I link to on this blog post will likely end up on there at some point as I'm just adding as I write.



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