"WHEN THE WINGED HUSSARS ARRIVED!" Joachim screamed at me from my friend's buzzing phone. It was early morning, too early for me to understand what was being sung in my left ear. Honestly, you'd think I'd know what was startling me from sleep considering this was the second time it had happened after staying the night at my friend's apartment. All I knew it was his alarm, it was music, it was loud, and I fucking loved it. For the second time, I asked him over breakfast; him coffee, bacon, spinach soaked in bacon grease, and a nauseating dollop of peanut butter. Fucking keto diets. Me, tea, and literally anything else but that nasty keto "meal" I was watching him scarf. "What's that song you've got your alarm set to?" ...